African Safari!
by Chris Gammon
Summary: Chap 8 up! Insanity abound, as I bring up a debated topic, and maybe become popular! Dax talkes jak into a trip to meet supposed friends. It's really a clever ploy for Dax to meet....well, figure it out.
1. The plan

This is going to be an interesting little diddy, made by the insane mind that brought you everything else under my author name. I am semi- crazy. I teach education through madness, and common sense through violence. I laugh at everything, and make fun of everything else! Deeply philosophical at all the wrong things, and can be creepy or annoying, depending on your mood.  
  
But I'm straying off course here. I finally got a place to place yet another brick of my wall! Jak and Daxter fan fiction! Finally! Now, I never played the game, but I got a good nack for nailing character. This should be simple.  
  
Let the story begin! I will make a cross-over of a videogame loudmouth, and a cartoon loudmouth! Daxter and..Timon? Yes, sports fans, the internet message board, rabid fan debate is finally brought to the battelfield! I have finally made a benchmark for all others to follow in my footsteps! (right off a cliff.did I type that out-loud?)  
  
Erm.sorry. Now let us watch as I type this little thang!  
  
The sun hang low over Sandover Village. The haze of the falling dawn made it too hot to go outside. But still, some want to have fun. The local hotel had an open pool day, and it attracted a lot of people.  
  
Unfortantely, not everyone was having fun. Daxter, the Otsell was one of them. He was having fun before getting thrown out. Apparently the manager didn't have a since of humor. He wandered back to the hut to await for Jak to come back, if he ever did. He dried off and hung his red trunks up. Daxter doesn't hate water, only if soap is involved.  
  
He ran his fingers through his matted bangs, usually hidden by his cap and goggles, and flopped into the chair. Jak's chair.  
  
He turned on the TV and flipped through the channels. He stopped on a show. It was the Timon and Pumbaa show.  
  
"Finally, someone I can relate to! That Timon guy would understand where I'm coming from! He's full of energy, loves to get rich quick, and always helps his friends in the end. I gotta ask Jak if we can meet them! Timon and I could hang, have fun on the town! Jak is more like Pumbaa anyways, especially on burrito night."  
  
Daxter trailed off, realizing he was talking to himself. He heard voices outside.  
  
"Goodbye, Kerria! I had fun!" Jak said, drying behind his ears.  
  
"Sure! We should do it again sometime!" She kissed Jak on the cheek and walked off to her home.  
  
Daxter scowled at the sight of HIS girl kissing his friend. But all that would change soon.  
  
As soon as Jak hit the door, Daxter was on top his head.  
  
"I know something we can do! We can go meet...uh.some friends of mine!" Daxter said. He always made up a lie to talk Jak into doing something.  
  
"What friends?" Jak asked, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"My..uh...famous friends." Daxter said. He knew that he was already in over his head, but couldn't pull out now, he was so close..  
  
"All right. Let me go get dressed." Jak said, still suspicious.  
  
Daxter put on his gloves. It was too hot for his leather cap, so he decided on wearing a white T-shirt and black shorts, to shield the heat from his fur. He knew it would be hot in Africa, and also knew that heat made really nasty split ends. Suntan lotion was too messy in fur, and basically, the world was against him once again.  
  
Now all that was left, was for tickets. 'Big Green' might be able to afford some. Unless, of course, they had a Power Cell. That old guy was worse than Daxter when it came to conning and scamming.  
  
Jak came out in his traditional armor outfit, minus the sword.  
  
"Where are these.'friends' exactly?" Jak asked warily.  
  
"In Africa." Daxter answered quickly.  
  
Jak rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew there had to be some ridiculous catch. 


	2. The flight

After scoring some power cells, and finally getting some tix form Samos, the duo set off to see Daxter's "friends".  
  
"I'm sorry sir, pets must ride in the cargo hold." Said the elf at the terminal.  
  
"Who you callin' a pet! I ain't riding in no damn cargo hold you sonofa..."  
  
Jak cut Daxter off, placing his hand over his mouth.  
  
"He's not a pet. He just had some run in with Dark Eco and is stuck this way forever." Jak explained.  
  
Daxter nodded in a fake pout.  
  
"How many times have I heard THAT before?" the elf mumbled to himself. "All right, I'll cut you some slack. But if you get in trouble, I never talked to you."  
  
Jak smiled and Daxter jumped with joy.  
  
Aboard the airship, or dirigible, the two took in the sites below them.  
  
The flight would've gone smoothly if it weren't for Daxter and his problems. Seems a little kid found him adorable. Now Daxter wouldn't have minded if it was someone who liked him, but not a baby drooling in his hair. His bangs were matted to his head with spit, and it wasn't very sanitary.  
  
"I'm going to wash up. I'll be back."  
  
Jak was too busy looking out the window.  
  
Daxter shook his head and walked toward the restroom. He looked in the mirror at his drool covered head, and sighed. He dried his ears off and washed up.  
  
"This had better be worth it Dax. If this don't work, you went through all this for nothing. And Jak will be pissed too." He mumbled to himself. He straightened his shirt and went back out.  
  
He walked back up the aisle and found Jak was asleep and someone else had taken his seat.  
  
"Excuse me sir. Your in my seat." Daxter said politely, tapping the elf on his shoulder.  
  
"GHAA! A RAT! RAT!" he screamed. Panic followed through the whole cabin.  
  
Later in the cargo hold, Daxter huffed to himself. He sat in a small cage, with his suitcase. And the only light was that from the window.  
  
"This sucks. Why the fuck should I have to suffer due to someone never seeing an Otsell before? All I have to say, when I get a hook up, is that I will make my species known!"  
  
Then a thought occurred to him. He was the only of his kind. He was an endangered species. Technically protected by law. A smile spread across his face.  
  
Back in the cabin, he made his speech about being endangered and all. A real sob story, Oscar material.  
  
Daxter reclined in his seat and drifted off with a smile, not to be bothered for the rest of the flight. 


	3. The Moment youve been waiting for!

The airship landed in the African Serengeti and everyone got off. Jak and Daxter were the last ones off, and Daxter was already ahead.  
  
"I know where to find them! Follow me!" he called. Jak only shrugged, and followed reluctantly.  
  
They were being watched secretly. The three hyenas Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed. They were hungry and happened across our intrepid duo.  
  
"Boys! I'm hungry for whatever that loudmouthed thing is!" Shenzi said smiling.  
  
Daxter had climbed over a rock, following noises he heard. He finally found where the noise was coming from.  
  
There they were, in the flesh! Timon and Pumbaa!  
  
Daxter signaled to Jak to come over and look. Jak looked over the rock and saw the Meerkat and Warthog eating bugs in their sloppy manner.  
  
"Are these your friends?" Jak asked, glaring over at Daxter.  
  
"Uh, well...once I get to know tem they will be." Daxter said, rubbing the back of his head.  
  
Jak only sighed. This was worthless, but seeing as they were already here..  
  
Before Jak could say anything, Daxter had already met Timon.  
  
"It's freaky! I swear I'm looking into a mirror!" Daxter said.  
  
"Who the hell are you? We don't look a thing alike, and I don't even know you!" Timon said, puzzled.  
  
"Of course you don't know me! I haven't introduced myself! I'm Daxter, an Otsell!" Daxter said extending his hand.  
  
Timon shook it warmly, but was still unsure?  
  
"An..Otsell? What is that?" Timon asked.  
  
"It's like a weasel, but DON'T CALL ME A WEASEL!" Daxter said. Then he realized what he done and got a hold of himself.  
  
"Why are you here?" Pumbaa finally spoke up.  
  
"I wanted to meet the fellow rodent who I modeled my whole life after! I wanted to become friends with the only person to understand me!" Daxter said, overacting.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What the hell do you mean?" Timon asked, slowly backing up.  
  
"You see, I'm a money loving, scamming, laid back, wise ass, show off like you!" Daxter said.  
  
"I may be all those things, but I didn't mean anyone else to become those! Hakunna Mattata means no worries, not become like me!" Timon said.  
  
Jak and Pumbaa only stared at each other.  
  
"He's like this all the time." They said to each other in unison. They smiled, and began to talk. They found a common bond, their annoying friends.  
  
Daxter looked back at Timon.  
  
"See? They got along, why can't we?"  
  
"I'm not saying we can't! Just don't become so obsessed, it's unhealthy!" Timon warned.  
  
So they finally had a friendship! But, it wasn't going to last long, not if the hyenas had a say in the matter. 


	4. Victory, and the start of something new

The three hyenas leapt out from behind the rocks, and towards our heroes. Timon and Daxter made a lunge, and ran like be-headed chickens.  
  
Jak winked at Pumbaa, and whispered in his ear. He had a plan.  
  
Jak ran in front of the advancing hyenas, having Timon and Daxter safely behind his legs, looking around.  
  
"Who do you think you are?" Jak asked gruffly.  
  
"Hungry!" Banzai said. Shenzi slapped him.  
  
"Look, blondie! We don't have to answer any of your questions! It's natures way!" she said, keeping her brother's mouth shut.  
  
"Really? Well I know something else that is nature's way too." Jak said, pointing behind the trio.  
  
The three spun around, and saw an angry warthog, Pumbaa to be precise, charging at them full speed!  
  
Ed only laughed and the others tried to run. Pumbaa rammed into them and sent the three flying.  
  
"Thanks, Pumbaa, you saved my life!" Timon said, almost fainting.  
  
"It was all Jak's idea." Pumbaa said.  
  
"Thanks, Jak! You saved me," Timon looked over at Daxter, "And my new friend too!"  
  
"You really mean it?" Daxter said excitedly.  
  
"Yeah. So what do you want to do now?" Timon asked.  
  
"Let's go to the mall!" Pumbaa said.  
  
"Okay then, we're off!" Daxter said. The four walked away, towards fun.  
  
But someone else was watching them. Someone smarter than any animal. At least that what he thought he was.  
  
"Well, I Conrad Quint, shall capture that orange creature! Then I will be rich! This will also be a chance to exact my revenge on the warthog and meerkat!" Quint said to himself, wringing his hands. 


	5. Chaos At The Mall

So it was off to the mall! Our group decided to check out the music store.  
  
"Look! It's the new Godsmack album!" Daxter said happily pointing to the small display.  
  
"And Harry Potter's new movie!" Pumbaa said, looking at the DVD rack.  
  
"Can I help you gentlemen?" a deep voice asked. A big man with a red nose, wearing a uniform shirt and dress pants approached them.  
  
It was really Conrad in disguise. But they didn't know that.  
  
"Naw, we're just looking." Jak said.  
  
They turned to go into the back, and Conrad followed closely. He had his arms open, ready to snatch Daxter from behind, but failed to see the wall in front. He hit it and fell.  
  
"Was he following us?' Pumbaa asked.  
  
"Who cares, it's their job." Timon said shrugging.  
  
They left the music store after a few minuets. They decided to hit the food court, but there were no bugs.  
  
"You guys go on, we're gonna rustle up something outside." Timon said.  
  
Jak and Daxter looked at each other with disgusted looks. They shrugged.  
  
"Meet us back here." Jak said.  
  
"Okay." Pumbaa said. The two went off their own way.  
  
Conrad popped up from behind the counter. "What can I get you?" he asked.  
  
"Give me the biggest burger you can make! I'm starved!" Daxter said.  
  
"No rodent's in the food court." A passing security officer said, tapping Jak on the shoulder.  
  
"Alright! The first time I can handle, but the second time crosses the line!" Daxtr said. Jak grabbed him by the tail before he could leap off his shoulder.  
  
"I'll just have a salad." Jak said.  
  
"Good, it will be ready shortly." Conrad said.  
  
As the two turned to take their seats, Conrad made another grab for Daxter. He missed by a few measly inches as Jak walked off. Daxter felt the breeze of Conrad's arms.  
  
"I think that freak tried to grab me! I ought to sue for sexual harassment!" Daxter said, turning back around on Jak's shoulder.  
  
"This is pointless. Maybe if I snag the other two, I can lead that creature here." Conrad said to himself, like he was looking into a camera.  
  
"You're burning the hamburger sir." The manager said.  
  
Later on, the food was ready.  
  
"Hey! This burger is burnt, I want another one!" Daxter objected, jumping onto the counter.  
  
"No rodent's in the food court." The manager replied.  
  
"Don't you start with me! I want a new burger!"  
  
"Our employee just left." The manager said. "But I can help you."  
  
But outside, things weren't going to go well.  
  
"Ya know Pumbaa, the city seems to lack in bugs. Sure, you can find some, but just not as many." Timon said, emerging from under a bench with a dead fly. He threw it back with a disgusted look.  
  
"Maybe we can get some of those chocolate cover ants! They're sweet and got bugs!" Pumbaa said.  
  
"Yeah, or those suckers with crickets in them!" Timon said. (these suckers are real and freaky to look at)  
  
"Let's go to the candy store in the mall!" Pumbaa said, leaping with excitement.  
  
Conrad overheard this, and got ready.  
  
When they arrived at the candy store, Conrad was behind the counter, getting yelled at by the manager.  
  
"The reason it is called Boss Beavers' Candy Store, is because I'M BOSS BEAVER, AND THIS IS MY CANDY STORE!" he saw Timon and Pumbaa walk in.  
  
"NOW TAKE CARE OF THOSE CUSTOMERS!" he yelled, and walked off.  
  
"We would like any form of candy that has bugs in the recipe!" Timon said.  
  
"Well, that sounds pretty expensive. Why not buy a cheap Grab Bag?" Conrad asked, with a smile.  
  
Timon and Pumbaa looked into the bag, and were suddenly scooped up.  
  
"Hey! Where are we going?" Pumbaa asked.  
  
"You are going to help me get rich of something!" Conrad said. "For I, Conrad Quint, shall prove I am smart!" he said as he made a hasty exit.  
  
He slammed into someone large and furry, dropping the bag and releasing his captives.  
  
Conrad looked into the eyes of an angry Mr. Bear!  
  
"I am a reasonable man, and I don't really condone violence." He grabbed Conrad up by the collar of his shirt. "But if you ever do that again, I will twist you like a pretzel. And I'm not talking about the soft pretzels made with oven fresh love, but the hard pretzels pounded by cold machines and shoved into a box! You don't want to be shoved into a box, do you?"  
  
Conrad gulped, and shook his head no.  
  
"Good." He growled, and walked off.  
  
"I have to think of someway to get that orange creature! For I, Conrad Quint, shall be victorious!" he said thrusting his finger into the air. He spun dramatically on his heal, and walked off with his head high and eyes closed.  
  
He crashed into someone big and furry.... 


	6. How To Escape From Conrad

"We got to warn Jak and Daxter. If that mook gets our friends, who knows what will happen!" Timon said.  
  
"We got to do something to warn them, but how can we get past him?" Pumbaa aked.  
  
"HEY GUYS! WANNA DO SOMETHIN'?" an all too familiar voice yelled.  
  
"OH NO! NOT.." Timon stuttered. "Irwin!"  
  
A goofy penguin wearing a stocking hat and a scarf came stumbling up. "Hey guys! Where you been?" he asked.  
  
Pumbaa flashed back to when they were playing shuffleboard on the boat. The anchor coming down on him.  
  
"RUN!" Pumbaa screamed.  
  
The two dashed off, with Irwin stumbling behind.  
  
"I got it! We'll get old 'black cat' here to follow the mook! That will keep his hands off of our friends!" Timon said.  
  
"Great idea! But how?" Pumbaa asked.  
  
"I know how." Timon said evilly.  
  
"Hey, Irwin? Uh, how'd you like to meet a friend of ours? Ya know, get to know him?" Timon asked, putting his arm around Irwin's shoulders.  
  
"I don't know. Who is he?" Irwin asked, unsure.  
  
"See that big guy with the red nose over there? The one picking himself up off the floor?" Timon asked, pointing in Conrad's direction.  
  
"Yeah." Irwin said, wiping his nose with a sniff.  
  
"Go say hi. If he says to leave, follow him. He loves to pretend that he hates people!" Timon said, with a cheesy smile.  
  
"Okay. I'll go say hi." Irwin said, and he sauntered off.  
  
"Gee Timon, you think that was nice to do that to the poor man?" Pumbaa asked.  
  
"Well, if you want to be in a bag right now, no I don't." Timon said, crossing his arms.  
  
Jak and Daxter were busy in the restroom. Daxter tried to wash barbecue stains out of his shirt while Jak did his business in one of the stalls.  
  
"Man! We need an air freshener in here!" Daxter joked, fanning the air in front of him.  
  
"If you don't like it, leave." Jak said through the stall.  
  
"Fine I will!" Daxter said. He walked out, still wiping at his shirt with the wet towel.  
  
He stood outside, and saw Timon and Pumbaa running up.  
  
"Hey guys! What's the rush?" Daxter asked as the others tried to get their breath.  
  
"There's some nutball after you!" Timon panted, thumbing in the direction where they came. "We managed to stall him, but he'll be back!"  
  
"Then why are you running?" Daxter asked.  
  
"He tried to use us to get to you!" Pumbaa said, finally breathing normally again.  
  
"That tears it! I knew he was trying to grab me back at the food court!" Daxter said, hitting his palm.  
  
Timon and Pumbaa looked at each other, knowing what the other was thinking.  
  
"Not that way, perverts! Jeez!" Daxter said, throwing his hands in the air. He walked off, trying to think of what to do. 


	7. Dark Jak!

Daxter stood looking out of a window. He wondered where this Conrad guy was. He wanted to give the palooka a piece of his mind.  
  
"Hey." Irwin said.  
  
"What?" Conrad asked.  
  
"Hey"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Hey."  
  
"WHAT!" Conrad asked in an angry tone.  
  
"I forgot." Irwin said, and walked off.  
  
"Stupid fool." Conrad muttered to himself.  
  
"Hey. Have you seen my car?" Irwin asked, coming back.  
  
"No, I haven't seen your car. Now get lost your cretin!" Conrad said, shoving Irwin off.  
  
"Okay. Thank you anyway." Irwin said.  
  
"He smelled like alcohol." Conrad thought to himself.  
  
He looked over and saw Daxter.  
  
"That orange creature! I finally found him!" Conrad made a mad dash to grab Daxter, but Jak knocked him out of the way.  
  
"You fool!" Conrad said, pushing Jak off of him.  
  
"You shouldn't have done that! You won't like jak when he's angry!" Daxter said, awaiting the coming of Jak's suppressed alter ego that he recently required.  
  
Jak's ears elongated, his innocent eyes turned cold and glairing. A red scarp covered his face, and a soul patch appeared on his chest.  
  
Jak became Dark Jak, and two guns appeared in his hands.  
  
"Come get it mutherfuker!" Dark Jak sneered.  
  
"HAHA! I knew it! Now you asked for it ya mook!" Daxter said, punching the air.  
  
"Mook. I like that word!" Daxter said to himself.  
  
Dark Jak filled the place with led, missing Conrad on purpose just to frighten him.  
  
This act got them all throw out of the mall. Timon and Pumbaa followed.  
  
"Whoa! Nice get-up Jak!" Pumbaa said.  
  
Timon whistled when he saw the size of the guns that Dark Jak held.  
  
"Where can I get some of those?" Timon asked.  
  
Daxter laughed, shaking his head. 


	8. Better Than The Movies!

Conrad looked around at where he landed.  
  
"What WAS that guy?" Conrad asked himself, rubbing his head.  
  
He dusted himself off and began to walk around.  
  
"I have GOT to capture that orange creature. And now that guy he hangs with is promising too!"  
  
Meanwhile, Daxter was explaining to Timon and Pumbaa about how Jak became Dark Jak and if he is fully transformed he looks like a monster.  
  
"Wow. So they really did that awful stuff to you?" Timon asked Jak, who was now normal again. Jak nodded sadly.  
  
"He really don't like to talk about it." Daxter said in a whisper.  
  
Timon and Pumbaa nodded, understanding why.  
  
They decided to go see a movie, since they were banned from the mall now.  
  
At the theater, Conrad once again appeared, taking tickets.  
  
"Your screen is on the left." He told the four heroes. They followed his direction and walked right into a cage. The door slammed shut behind them.  
  
"VICTORIOUS!" Conrad said to himself, pointing to the air in victory. "Now I, Conrad Quint, shall make a fortuitous fortune off of you four!"  
  
Conrad was so rapped up in his victory, he failed to notice almost stepping on the foot of a certain Mr. Bear.  
  
The four cringed and looked away from the carnage in front of them.  
  
"On the plus side, it is better than a movie." Daxter said. Timon smiled. 


End file.
